Why Tiger Can't Tell Us the Truth

It's Master's golf week, and excitement abounds. The buzz going around Augusta today was Tiger Wood's first TRUE interview since that infamous night last Thanksgiving. Tiger did put on a 34 minute interview, and he did give much more in depth answers than ever before.

The one question he did not answer, and that everyone wants him to answer is "What happened last Thanksgiving, and what caused you to run into that tree?" Everyone thinks Tiger is being elusive by not answering that question; but think about it, can you blame him?

Tiger can't answer that question without incriminating his wife for prosecution. Imagine if you will today's interview went like this: (Interviewer) "Tiger what really happened last Thanksgiving night?" (Tiger) "Well that was the night when the shit hit the fan. Like a stupe, probably because of the meds I had taken earlier, I forgot to close my email on the computer before walking away and my wife found it. She went NUTS! She saw a nine iron I had sitting in the corner, grabbed it and came after me! She chased me through every room that I had sex with that Perkin's hostess; which is everyone of them. She was totally crazed, swinging that nine iron as if she were harvesting sugar cane. Though I was sedated, I managed to stay away from that swinging nine iron. Unfortunately she cornered me in the upstairs hall. She swung the club, I blocked it with my arm, but the wedge grazed my head causing a gash and stunning me. I ran down the hall, down the stairs and out the door. Luckily my keys were hung up next to the door. I grabbed them and out the door I ran in my T-shirt, underwear, and bare feet. I dove into the vehicle and I fired that mother up! I Threw it in reverse and backed out of the driveway. As I went past my wife, she yelled "I WILL kill you!" then she bashed in the passenger window right behind me. I tell you, I just wanted to get out of there with my life! I put it in gear and took off. I hit the gas harder than I wanted and my barefoot slipped off the brake causing me to ram into the tree. After the vehicle rammed the tree my wife ran away because she thought the vehicle might explode. I managed to crawl out of the broken windshield and laid in the street until the ambulance showed up."

Tiger would not have those words out of his mouth for five minutes before the police would be arresting his wife for assault, if not assault with a deadly weapon. Tiger can not tell us what really happened that night without implicating his wife.

We will probably find out what really happened when Tiger writes his memoirs, many years after the statute of limitations is over for last Thanksgiving. I bet my account is close.